Like most women...i go through heartbreak, i have broken hearts, some more so then others, i have had it done to me more than enough times, what it seems like anyways.

Recently i just ended things with my boyfriend of 7 months, it was really hard, of course like all tough break ups, there was tears, regret, and attempting to comprimise, unfortunatley this time, this was a situation that could not be comprimised in any way. This broken guy was made because of me, i felt guilty, and i still do, i have this feeling that i still wanna be his friend but i know it wont happen, because there will always be that thought there of what could have been, if i wasnt so independent and selfish.

When it comes to relationships, after they end, is there always going to be that ghost there, that you have to confront??

And of course i mean ghost metaphorically, there are still things that i know i must confront, but doing just that is what seems impossible to me, I am always going to regret not facing certain things from my past, but i am also a firm believer in "some things are better left unsaid" It has done me good in the past, it has also given me bad ju ju, as i like to call it, and yes the ju ju has already begun, bad things are starting to happen left and right, unless of course that is guilt for what i am feeling.

Or maybe there will be closure without all the drama, it can come from working on myself as a person. I will always have the memories of the great times that we spent together and know that for one breif moment in time i was treated with the most amazing, door opening, pull my chair out when i go to sit down respect that i never felt or exppreienced in any other relationship, and just leave it at that....that is the selfish part of me coming out, but we all do that sometimes

later